


if it made you stay, but you won't

by ritarepulsas



Series: talking 'bout bad girls [4]
Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers Dino Thunder
Genre: F/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25387885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritarepulsas/pseuds/ritarepulsas
Summary: If she knew the cost of getting close to Tommy Oliver, she would’ve thought twice. Or so she tells herself.
Relationships: Elsa | Principal Randall/Tommy Oliver
Series: talking 'bout bad girls [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842049
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6
Collections: Bandora's Box Ficathon 2019





	if it made you stay, but you won't

**Author's Note:**

> i somehow went from memeing about tommy/elsa to actually shipping them so here we are

If she knew the cost of getting close to Tommy Oliver, she would’ve thought twice. Or so she tells herself.

The plan was simple: gain Dr. Oliver’s trust in order to get close to the rest of the power rangers. Their connection felt instant, though she couldn’t help but wonder if, for him, he needed a friend to Reefside. Something to ground this new town for him.

Their conversations started off innocent enough. Elsa listened to him drone on about ways to make Reefside High good. He sounded so passionate, so interested in the students. If she didn’t know he was a former power ranger and that his favorite students weren’t current power rangers, if she was actually a principal, like he thought she was. Maybe she would pay attention to what he was saying.

And if she paid attention, maybe her eyes wouldn’t wander to the way his biceps sat beneath his collared shirt. She imagined him in high school, how fitting, and tried to picture what his life was like. If his interest in paleontology was from childhood or newfound. How long ago he had been a power ranger and for how long.

These thoughts intensified the more they met up. Conversation spilling out over dry salads during lunch, then sugary snacks from the vending machine after school. Before one of them would get pulled away for a meeting, school-related or their  _ other _ jobs.

At some point, Tommy realizes that he was the main one talking. “Sorry,” he stammers, adjusting his glasses that she isn’t quite sure he even actually needs to wear. “There’s just so much that we could do here,” he explains. 

Embarrassment is new on him. There’s a boyish awkwardness that sits right underneath the surface. Maybe only she could see it, after countless conversations. He avoids eye contact, digging into his half empty bag of corn nuts and tossing a few into his mouth. As a way to quiet himself, she theorizes.

Elsa smirks, reaching over and placing a hand atop his. It’s a simple touch, but she can feel him tensing on instinct. When he meets her eyes, she tilts her head, maintaining eye contact. “Don’t apologize. I agree, there’s a lot we could do together.”

  
  
  


One evening, Elsa feels a change in the air. Her heels clack against the empty school hallway floor, two bags of salty chips in her hands. When she reaches Dr. Oliver’s classroom, she spots him through the door window. Phone held up to his ear. His hand rubbing his temple. 

She steps back, leaning against the door, holding her breath as she eavesdrops.

“I don’t want you to have to do that, it was just an idea… alright, well, I’m still at the school, but I’ll call you when I get back to the apartment. I love you.”

His last words hang in the air, dangling in front of Elsa, teasing her. Her heart was racing, though she couldn’t quite figure out why. This was a nugget that she could use, an opening, if she played her cards right. And she always did.

Her hand reaches up, knocking on the door. After a couple seconds, she enters the classroom, hovering near the doorway while holding up the bags of chips. “Hope you’re a fan of barbecue flavor,” she teases.

Tommy looks up, visibly a bit taken back by her sudden presence, but he laughs nonetheless. “That’s fine.” He removes his glasses, wiping his eyes a bit with one hand, as his other motions her way. “Come in, come in. How are you?”

She advances towards him, sitting down in her usual seat across from him. She tosses a bag his way, which he catches with ease. Despite his best efforts, she can tell the phone conversation is still weighing on him.

“Better than you,” she muses. She opens her bag and pops a chip into her mouth. Taking this second to read his expression. How his face dances between confusion to panic to amusement and back again, in a matter of seconds. He’s so bad at not wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Tommy laughs, though this time less genuine. “I’m fine, just tired.” He lies. She’s a bit impressed, she didn’t think he had it in him to even attempt a lie. He opens his own bag, probably realizing he’s bad at it.

She hides her growing smile with another chip bite. She could let it go, continue on with their surface level dynamic, but she knows better. She has never been one to refrain from taking the bait. Especially when there’s so much at stake.

“Dr. Oliver, I couldn’t help but overhear a bit of your phone call,” she starts, feigning hesitance, though there isn’t any. “I want you to know that my job as principal extends, not just to my students, but my faculty. If something is going on with you, you can talk to me.”

Upon his face, Elsa sees a change. Tommy’s eyes flicker, just briefly. It’s clear then that he hasn’t heard those words in far too long. It would be heartbreaking, if it weren’t so purely convenient for her.

The words sit on the edge of his tongue, dying to come out. Eventually, he lets them. “It’s my girlfriend, well, fiancé. We’re doing the whole long distance thing, while she’s in London and I’m here.”

“Fiancé? Congrats,” she compliments, though she feels a sting that she wasn’t anticipating. “How long have you two been together?” It’s a pointed question, but she’s never been good at subtlety.

Luckily for her, Tommy doesn’t seem to notice. He raises his eyebrows, suggesting the answer is much deeper than she could’ve anticipated. “Me and Kat? Wow, since the end of high school.”

What follows is Tommy’s unloading everything onto her, or everything that doesn’t involve his alter ego. He tells her about his entire relationship with  _ Kat _ . How she moved from Australia, how they started off as friends, and then started dating, after his former girlfriend dumped him. How things got complicated and they had an opportunity to go find themselves and do things they had always wanted to do, but made a promise to still be together.

The engagement was new. It happened the last time they saw each other, when Kat flew in from London to help him unpack. It was then that Tommy knew what they had was real and that distance meant nothing to true love. He asked her, while they were knee deep in cardboard boxes and tape. They both cried. It was magical, but it had just ended up making things more bittersweet, when she finally had to head back to London.

His words are laced with pride and it was obvious how much he loved Kat and how they had grown together, as both a couple, and as separate people. Another audience would probably envy his story, but Elsa found it to be a nightmare.

What she heard was the story of a man who had been in two long term relationships in his entire life, both starting before he turned eighteen. What she heard was someone who had never been single, never been alone, never learned what he actually wanted in life, because there was always someone there to tend to the loneliness and uncertainty. Someone who got engaged far too early in his adult life, to someone he probably saw once or twice a year, who was living in another country.

She tries to think of the last time she was in love, or even the first time, but found that it was hard to think of anything prior to her present life. It was as if nothing existed for her but where she was right now, in this moment with Tommy, hearing him divulge his love life. 

Maybe she had never been in love before, maybe she had never spoke of someone else with that much pride. How strange to suddenly be so jealous of something she had felt so strongly against, mere seconds ago.

The next morning, Tommy stops her in the hallway, looking every bit as bashful as he did when she asked him about the phone call. She smiles, though without a hint of mischief, as usual. It takes a second for her to catch herself, but eventually she replaces it with a stern expression.

“Thanks for last night. You’re a great listener.” An earnest appreciation, which she hasn’t had in awhile. It was what she wanted, gaining his trust, but it pleases her more than just excelling at a plan.

Before he leaves, he places a hand on her shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze. He follows it with a smile. Then he’s gone, continuing down the hallway, disappearing into the crowd of students.

She stands there, frozen, holding onto the warmth his touch brought her.

  
  
  


As Mesogog yells at both her and Zeltrax about another mission failing, Elsa finds her thoughts elsewhere. Her attention has shifted, no longer solely consumed by defeating the power rangers. She finds herself longing to remember how it feels to care about anything else, then realizes she has already started to.

  
  
  


After the ice has broken, their conversations expand far greater than either of them seemed prepared for. They talk about life, what makes them happy, what frustrates them. For the first time, Elsa not only contributes to the discussion, but centers herself. She vents about everything frustrating her, things she didn’t realize were frustrating her, with a couple disclaimers of course.

Tommy turns out to be a great listener too. He gives her his undivided attention, empathizes, validates her, somehow relates to this missing void she vocalizes feeling. It hadn’t always been there, or maybe it was and she’s just now realizing. Either way, he can relate.

His life has been heavily impacted by his work, that she knows to be being a power ranger, but he leaves vague. Before he could even vote, he had to carry a burden no teenager should and is still dealing with the repercussions. He has trouble making friends with people that haven’t also been through it and the ones that have, have become family to him.

“Other than you, of course.” He adds, giving her a warm smile. And there it is, that warmth in her stomach, that fills her. She catches herself smiling back, but has trouble removing it this time.

  
  
  


Along the way, she learns that she has to censor a lot with Mesogog and Zeltrax. She isn’t sure why, but the void feels bigger with them around. They are so consumed with evil, they don’t realize how empty they’ve become. She isn’t so angry anymore, or maybe she never actually was.

It’s unclear when the line gets crossed. At some point, they change scenery, having tried every snack in the vending machine twice and three times over and growing nauseous at the sight of them. They head downtown, initially driving in their own cars, then sharing cars. 

She sits across from him, in his car. They exchange glances on the way over, which start off friendly, but become progressively heavier. Holding eye contact longer. The safety of Reefside High long gone.

They slip into diners, sitting outside, seemingly unbothered by anyone who would see them. A few students do, but dare not say anything. Elsa catches their knowing stares and prays Tommy doesn’t. She isn’t sure she could survive this ending before it’s begun.

During their dinners, their conversation lightens. As if to counteract whatever inappropriateness they are partaking in by meeting up. Jokes, teasing, not-so-subtle flirting on Elsa’s end, hesitantly subtle flirting on Tommy’s. Elsa finds that he mentions Kat less and less, to the point where she entertains forgetting she even exists. Though she knows she never could.

After, back at the school, they stand in the deserted employee parking lot, neither of them ready to end the conversation for the night. Offering one final topic for them to discuss. It’s clear, the attraction between them. The way they lean into each other, the way both of their eyes glance down at one another’s lips as they talk.

It starts with a hug goodbye, as they’ve started doing. The hugs last progressively longer each time. Elsa wraps a hand behind his neck, playing the ends of his hair. When they part, their faces linger near each other.

To no surprise, Elsa closes the gap. All of their stifled tension releases in that moment. Their kiss instantly deepens. Both of them in the moment, forgetting about their individual obligations. 

To no surprise, Tommy breaks the kiss. Regret pouring out of him. He avoids her eyes, though this time it’s not out of embarrassment. Her heart breaks. “We shouldn’t--”

“Right,” she interrupts, saving her heart from further heartbreak. She can’t bear to hear him finish that statement. She hurries into her car and drives off. This time, she’s the one who’s embarrassed.

In the hallway, they avoid one another. She sits in her office alone, munching on lettuce and wondering how she ever stomached this food. The void grows inside her, exemplified by the fact that she realizes she has no one to confide in.

After school, she races back to Mesogog and Zeltrax. She distracts herself with coming up with new plans that don’t involve getting closer to Tommy Oliver. It almost works, but then a battle ensues and she sees him, clad in his black ranger suit, unknown that she’s standing across from him. Fighting against him.

  
  
  


A full week passes, though it feels much longer, and she opens her office door, ready to head off after a long day of monotony, to see Tommy standing on the other side. Knuckle outstretched. Seconds from knocking on the door.

She stares at him, hating the way her heart soars at the sight of him. It dawns on her how bad he looks. Like he hasn’t slept or eaten. She wonders how she compares.

She shifts, holding onto the doorframe. Daring him to speak first. He is out of his element, that much is clear, but so is she. Only difference is that she’s better at hiding it.

“Principal Randall,” he begins. Then his expression softens. She finds hers as well. “About the other night…” 

“Yes?” She asks, her voice so soft, as if any more would scare him off. She’s seconds from pleading, but the void feels smaller when he’s around. Things are less uncertain. From his gaze, she can tell the same goes for him, in some ways.

Suddenly, he looks down, taking a step away from the door. In a moment, reality appears to set in for him. “I’m sorry, get home safe.” He finishes, running a hand through his hair. He starts to walk away.

Before she can mimic self-restraint, she grabs his arm. He turns to face her. She studies him.

Both of them, far too young for the hands they’ve been dealt, but it’s made them wise. They know they can’t do this, he’s engaged, they’re coworkers, he’s a power ranger, she serves Mesogog. Everything is rooting against them, and yet.

“I miss you,” she whispers. As soon as the words escape her lips, some of the pain lifts off. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t say it back, she finds peace in saying it for herself.

But then--

“I miss you too,” he replies. Voice matching her whisper. 

He steps closer. She does as well. Their lips latch onto one another, as if they never left. They fall into her office, closing the door behind them. They lean against her desk, hands unbuttoning, grazing against body parts, kisses trailing to said parts, moans growing louder.

Elsa tries to think back to the last time she’s experienced this. Sleeping with someone. Once again, it’s hard to think beyond her time at Reefside. Maybe she never has. Either way, it’s never been like this.

When they climax, catching their breaths on the cold, hard floor, reality sets in. Now that they’ve crossed the line, they had to draw a new line. No more dinners, no more sitting in his classroom, sharing lunches. This could no longer be played off as unassuming.

  
  
  


They rent a room in a motel, which feels all the bit seedy and cliche, but she gets why people do it. It grounds the situation. This is not a relationship in that sense. They are, after all, fighting on opposite sides. Both of them can’t survive at once.

It goes on for months. They stagger their arrivals at the motel. No one from Reefside High would dare be seen in these parts, but one can never be too sure. 

Once they’re in the room, they get straight to business. Isolating their moments to this only builds the passion when they’re finally together. After, they lie in bed, catching one another up on their troubles. Pretending, for just a few hours, that things are normal and fine and they aren’t horrible people for what they’re doing.

Years from now, if Tommy lives past Mesogog’s torment, he won’t speak of this time in his life with pride. She won’t be remembered as a light spot in his life, she won’t kid herself to think otherwise. But for her, she’ll finally understand what it means to risk it all for someone. She’ll understand love.

  
  
  


As Elsa pulls Tommy into the room by the collar one night, she senses something is up. Something that no amount of kissing and cuddling can erase.

“I have to go away for a bit. I sent you an official email,” he informs her. She tenses, staring up at her. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just something I need to take care of.”

For once, he holds back. Purposefully. Her thoughts head to Kat, who is off in London and she had started to kid herself wasn’t even real. She wants to ask, but concludes that it’s better she doesn’t know.

When he kisses her, pulls her in, hovers on top of her, everything feels like a goodbye. She feels the void rising, the first time it’s appeared with him around. She tries not to cry, but feels tears slide down her cheek. 

The next day, when she sees him in battle, appearing at her in his black ranger suit, she realizes it’s purely ranger business. He thinks he’s protecting her, he doesn’t know he’s the one that needs protecting.

As they fight one another, kicks thrown into chests, she wonders if their contact feels familiar to him in any way. If he can sense, somehow, that Elsa, the villain to his hero, is also Principal Randall, the villain to his relationship.

Results are inconclusive, for now, but as she digs her elbow into his neck, attempting to drain the life from him, she sees a flicker in his eyes of recollection. It’s enough to make her pause. Enough to give him an opportunity to throw her off of him. Enough for the rangers to win once again.

For as much truth and honesty in their relationship, so much of it is grounded in lies. They will never be what she wants and she struggles to swallow that pill.

  
  
  


Then, he finds out the truth. She turns into Elsa at school and he walks in. She can see the pieces clicking for him. Any little inconsistencies clearing up. A part of him knew the whole time, somehow, and she can’t tell how much of that is the truth.

“It’s a shame, Tommy, we could’ve had something,” she states. 

“Dream on,” he retorts. All sense of empathy long gone.

It couldn’t last forever, she knows that, but she wishes it could have.

  
  
  


More clarity comes later, when Mesogog drains her evil powers. That void, the memory loss, all of it was a part of her brainwashing. She was being used the whole time. What should make her feel relief, just makes her disgusted with herself.

What little control she thought she had, was but a figment of her imagination. She was but a pawn in a greater war. 

But there’s Tommy, holding onto her as she faints. Empathy back on his face. He’s relieved, she can tell. So is she. He takes her back to the other rangers. They tend to her, make sure she’s okay. She’s not, but it comforts her nonetheless.

As she grapples with recollecting her memories, they craft a plan to defeat Mesogog. Their determination, pure good of it all, warms her. She can’t believe she ever thought otherwise.

“Come back safe,” she tells Tommy. It’s her way of apologizing, for lying, for starting them up, for not ending it. His eyes say what his lips can’t, that he forgives her, that he blames himself for all of it.

Instead, he smiles. “We always do.”

  
  
  


As the dust settles and Mesogog is defeated. Peace falls onto Reefside. Just in time for prom. Elsa feels lighter with the void gone. She is still learning how to be herself again, rediscovering what that means, but she knows that she can’t forget all of what happened.

Especially when Tommy approaches her and asks for a dance as Kira performs a ballad on stage. They dance together, among the students, not saying anything at first. It feels like a fresh start, though she knows they will never be how they were.

“I think I’m ready to seriously discuss what we can do to improve Reefside,” she offers. It’s true. She wants to do something good. She wants to make her mark on this town. Give her something to hold onto. “That is, if you’re ready to return to work.”

Tommy smirks, “More than ready. But I need to take a break. I’m heading up to London. Kat and I… we have some things to discuss.” It takes her by surprise, but knowing who Tommy is, it’s to be expected.

“Tell her I’m sorry,” she says, before looking down. She finds that she means it. Now that she’s experienced love, she understands the gravity of what they did. How empty she would feel to be in Kat’s shoes, especially so far away.

A new disgust feels inside of her. She realizes that she needs a break herself.

Tommy holds a finger under her chin, moves her head up. She knows he won’t tell Kat. It’s not as simple as that. But he’s here, dancing with her, and that’s enough for the night. She savors their bodies' proximity, for the last time. When the song ends, they hug. A real goodbye.

  
  
  


While Tommy’s gone, Elsa finds that her disgust with herself has manifested into actual disgust. She feels queasy and nauseous. Unable to eat. A new void has grown inside of her, this time it’s a marker of a new beginning.

She resigns from Reefside High, packs everything into her car, and drives to Tommy’s house. She places an envelope into his mailbox. Inside, is a sonogram.

On the back, a simple “ _ I’ll miss you. _ ”

As she drives off, leaving Reefside in the rearview mirror, she feels freer than she has in awhile. No more plans, nothing to look forward to. No distractions. It’s exactly she needs. She rolls down the window, letting the wind dance through her hair.

Maybe this is what actual love is. Finding yourself.


End file.
